I need to take more pictures of Noah and his daddy. Here are a few quick snaps I took the other day while they were walking around in the front yard. I would have had more pictures, but this was right before I had some kind of mental breakdown and cried on Nate’s shoulder for a while about all the things going wrong in the world. Then I took a shower and got over it. I will say this about the whole experience: my husband is a saint.

Nathan, thank you for always putting up with me. I don’t deserve it, but you love me even when I’m crazy!

I can’t sleep. I’ve been up since 4am because Noah was rolling into me and waking up every half hour. It’s 90 degrees in the house, so we were all pretty sweaty, and we all kept rolling around trying to get comfy. I laid there for about an hour trying to stay out of his way. I finally got up and put pillows in my place so he’d stop slamming his arms into my face and waking himself up.

It might just be the sleeplessness talking, but I feel like I’m in a funk. I want to learn to be a better photographer, but I feel like I can’t learn anything new. I need to push myself to shoot more often and in different settings, so I can LEARN! Doing the same thing over and over again isn’t teaching me much. Though I do get some cute shots of Noah, like these pictures I took yesterday while he was peering curiously out the window. You know, that window you’ve seen 100 times now?

Maybe it’s the way he’s holding the grass like it’s a wand, or the snake on his shirt (Slytherin?), but this picture makes me think of a baby Harry Potter. A chubby, blond, super cheerful Harry Potter. Too bad Noah doesn’t have dark hair, tiny baby glasses, and a lightning bolt on his forehead!

P.S. I just noticed he’s making this same face in last blog’s photo. He loves sticking his tongue out on the side like that while grinning. Where does he get that?

I think Noah and I will stay in our jammies today.

Noah is cracking me up. Here’s a short list of things that make me smile:

1. He has a “play area” in the living room that is blocked off so that he can’t get out. It’s a huge area, about 12 ft by 8 ft. Along with his blocks, balls, books, teething rings, and other toys, we put his old baby bouncy seat in there so that when Kristin comes to watch Noah, she can put Gabriel in it. The bouncy seat is Noah’s favorite toy! He loves pushing the button to turn on the vibrations, climbing into the seat and getting stuck, standing up while holding onto it, and just generally everything to do with it. Right now he’s sitting side-saddle in it with his legs hanging off and playing with the hanging toys.

2. Everyday he makes a new sound. Lately it’s these little noises that sound like questions. I swear he’s saying, “Huh? Eh? Hmm?” Last night while we were eating dinner, he made a very distinct, “What?”

3. We have a habit of praying before our meals. Noah has always watched, and we can see the gears turning. This week whenever we say Grace, he will fold his hands up in prayer. It’s so sweet!

4. I love it when he pulls himself up to stand, squats, or stands on his tiptoes. It’s just adorable.

5. This might seem silly, but I’m so proud of the fact that Noah is bigger than all his cousins and other babies at the same age. He’s going to be the biggest at 1 year old. I don’t know why I’m proud of that. It’s not like he’s working hard at it. He’s just growing! [It might have something to do with the fact that he started off sick, I had milk supply issues, and we have STILL gotten this far. He's getting to be such a big boy!]

Snapshots are important. Sometimes it’s good to take pictures and not worry about whether it would look good as a three foot canvas hanging above your fireplace. There are moments you want to capture just for the sheer pleasure of remembering the moment. Noah has been pulling himself up to stand for a while now, and I couldn’t find one picture of it!

Here are a few snapshots of Noah playing in the living room this afternoon.

I may or may not have squealed like a little girl while editing these pictures. I was definitely drooling over this location. Thank you for taking me there, Sarah!

This reminds me of a Tommy ad. So pretty!

All I can say is: Fierce!

Sarah took this one of me and Noah.

I am definitely going there again!

I was only 14 months old when my sister, Sarah, was born. I don’t remember life without her. When we were children, we shared everything. We slept in the same bed, under the same blankets. I remember winter nights when we slept under two blankets, one on top of the other. We would lift the top blanket in a quick flip-of-the-wrist motion and watch the sparks of static fly between them, making tiny blue lightning bolts in the dark. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I would reach out with my foot under the covers, trying to find her. We slept back-to-back, and as long as part of me was touching her – even if it was just my cold toes against hers – I felt safe. Nothing could sneak up on us in the dark. I was watching this side of the bed, and she was watching that side. I had her back, and she had mine.

As we grew up through the difficult teenage years, we fought for our own space, our own individuality. We had separate interests, separate friends, separate lives. We quickly grew apart. For several years, we stumbled around in the dark on our own.

Now that we are growing older – we’re in our late 20’s; when did that happen? – we are closer than ever. No matter how different we are, my sister is one person who really understands me. Through it all, I know she will be there for me. She has my back, and I have hers. We may not share beds or blankets anymore, but no matter how far away she is, I can still feel her there, reaching out for me, sleeping under the same stars.

Sarah, thank you for putting up with my cold toes all those years ago. I love you.

Ten months already.

They say having a baby changes everything. They say to savor the little moments because babies grow up in the blink of an eye. They say you forget the pain of labor in the richness of life afterward.

They are so right. I had no idea. But I do now.

Noah is our joyful explorer. Anything he finds goes straight to his mouth. How can he figure out what it is without touching it with his tongue?

He babbles all the time, saying mama and dada constantly. Today he started growling back at me whenever I would make a “claw” hand at him and growl. He gives high-5′s! He cruises around the furniture, but still hasn’t let go to take his first steps. He crawls like a lightning bolt, always getting into things at nana’s house. His favorite is the cats’ water bowl. He loves to splash! At bath time he makes sure I get just as wet as he does.

I haven’t mentioned Hirschsprung’s Disease in a long time because it just hasn’t been an issue since mid-March when he had a cold and got constipated. We haven’t had to clean him out in almost three months. Dr. L (surgeon) told us that as he approached his first birthday it would be less and less of an issue, and that seems to be the case. Feeding him fruits and veggies on a normal schedule seems to have really helped. He’s eating three times a day now and snacking a couple times a day. We’re still nursing, but he’s cut back a little since he eats more real food.

He’s growing up, healthy, happy, HUGE. At his 9-month checkup on May 19th, Dr. M (pediatrician) said that he was in the 95th percentile for weight at 24lb 4oz and “off the charts” in height at 31 inches tall. My big boy. Just look at those big hands!

I’m still looking forward to planning his first birthday party, and it’s coming up SOON. The blink of an eye. A whole year almost gone.

Slow down, baby, slow down…